We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
