I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
50% drunk capacity currently
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize