Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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