summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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