Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
