Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize