Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
