New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my sisters under your porch take her home
That reminds me...we need to get swords
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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