i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
