do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
