"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
