i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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