ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
