Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
