it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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