Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
