what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
