That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
