Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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