Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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