honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
