If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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