Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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