I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
