i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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