hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
