Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
