i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize