I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
