I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize