Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
