just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize