She said her name was "party"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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