The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
