Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize