in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
