In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
