I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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