I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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