I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
