Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize