How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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