How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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