I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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