I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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