can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I love you. Go after that dick
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
