and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
