escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
