And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
