Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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