I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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