Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
