I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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