not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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