She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
