Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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