She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize