quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
