I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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