Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
