shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
